Monday, 13 February 2017

Faith, Hope & Love

From the age of seven my life was turned upside down and I was left broken hearted.  I felt everything that was good in my life had been taken away from me and I blamed God for all of it.  My Mam left my Dad and she took me, my twin brother and my older sister away with her to live with a new family and a new father.  Shortly afterwards my Nana Gardner who I truly loved and adored suddenly passed away.  I felt my whole world as I knew it had come to an end, I hadn’t just lost my home and family but also my school and all of my friends.

I had never felt so desperate, unhappy, unloved and so alone, it was as if I didn’t belong or matter to anyone including God.  As time went by my life continued to go from bad to worse simply because of the amount of abuse I was suffering from all angles.  Looking back I never realised just how ill I was and how much my life had been greatly affected until everything came to ahead at the age of sixteen when I became mentally ill and had a massive breakdown.

I eventually ended up in a secure mental institution. My experience there was so horrendous that it will live with me forever.  I think it is true to say whether we believe in God or not that he is the main guy that most of us turn to when we are faced with the most difficult and traumatic times in our lives. I know I did.  If you are in a bad and dark place at this moment in time and think that there is no way out, please believe me when I say that there is as I am living proof.  There were many times in my life when I wanted to give up and hoped and prayed that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

Many years have now passed and when I look back I still can’t quite believe all I have achieved, remember that you can to if you put your mind to it as everything in life is possible.  Stay away from those who are full of negativity as it will only play with your head and bring you down and make you feel much worse within yourself.  I can’t express enough how important it is to mix and be with those who think and act positive as it will have a much profound and greater impact on your life.

By having faith, hope and love in my life now it makes me want to carry on no matter how bad things may seem, never give up on yourself, live your life to the full and cherish every moment especially with those who you love as we don’t know what tomorrow may bring.

God bless and take care of yourself.

You can read more about my life and how I overcame adversity in my book Blind Courage.

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